"Keep Out. -Birdman"
No response, eh?
There are no pedals. It looks like a glider.
No matter. Let us make it our jurisdiction regardless of its lack of wheels.
My shadowy business role is as the Master Sergeant of the Cheery Cycle Cleanup Corps.
I sell off illegally parked bicycles,
and am using that as the basis for forming my gorgeous rose-colored campus life.
Delicious sake, food, women flocking to me...
The business may have a bit of a bad reputation,
but the way of the world is the greater villainy, the greater glory.
I'll have my pick of raven-haired maidens...
As long as I have the money, I can have anything I want!
Master Sergeant, a woman from Birdman is coming this way!
What, some woman?
Hey, what's the matter?
We're almost to Lake Biwa!
So it was you, Senpai.
Akashi-san...
That's the plane that we all made together!
Oh, is it?
It can be sold for a high price to a certain important person in the north.
If you make an even better plane, we could sell it for even more money.
So how about I become your sponsor?
You are an idiot!
And what of it?
This world is all a power game, after all.
There is no such thing as pure love.
Love is nothing but a fleeting illusion.
Realize the truth about society, everyone!
There is nothing in this world that cannot be bought with money!
Then what is this pain I feel in my heart?
J-pwq
Then I was a brand-spanking new freshman university student
and before me lay open innumerable doors to that rose-colored campus life.
But I had already come to my decision.
Among the many fliers, only one was conspicuous.
It's sink or swim!
"Secret Society Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant"
You can learn the other sides of a lot of different people.
It'll be a fun experience.
Um, what does "Secret Society" mean?
It means what it says.
Manager, we have a prospective new hire!
Here.
I am Aijima, the manager of Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant. Nice to meet you.
Please read this now.
I didn't actually expect an organization that wrote "Secret Society" on their flier
to actually be a secret society,
but the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant is one, exactly as the sign said.
Their branches include the Library Police, the Print Shop,
the Cheery Cycle Cleanup Corps, and a bunch of other unofficial circles...
Taken all together, they are the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant.
In other words, they have a hand in all the business at the school,
and is the organization that essentially controls the university.
That is the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant.
And there you have it.
By the way, once you've read the menu you will not be allowed to quit our organization.
If you do quit the shop,
a little process called "paying the bill" will be waiting to erase you from society.
We gather every single piece of personal information about the students.
Which videos you rented from the video rental store,
what you bought from the supermarket or convenience store,
which books you read, which transmissions you sent...
Even what you smelled like when you were a baby.
We know it all.
But I had no intention of turning back!
This is perfect.
I will show them all by climbing to the top of this Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant!
That's a good look you've got there.
For now I will assign you to the Library Police.
Glad to have you on board.
There stood an ominous man with an evil face of ill portent.
And that man has made a giant plaything out of my fate ever since.
The original aim of the Library Police
was to chase down the scoundrels who had not returned materials to the library
and to recover the lent books by force.
However, the goal eventually deviated from how it had started,
and most people's secret and personal information
were accumulated by the Library Police--
people both inside and outside of Kyoto, from Oohara's Sanzen Temple in the north
to Uiji's Byoudou Temple's Houou Hall in the south.
It's now even an organization that helps participate in politics.
Indeed, those who control information, control the world.
I will rise in rank,
and get to a place where I can handle all the information I want!
However, I quickly ran into a strange individual whom I was to collect from.
Higuchi Seitarou, that's enough!
That copy of Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is more than a year overdue!
Do your duty as a library patron!
Higuchi-san, it's way past the due date, you know.
Yes, it is... But just a little longer...
It's already been four months since you said that!
Has it?
Gotta hit the john.
And so, unable to collect a single book for more than a year,
I won fame as the greatest failure in the history of the Library Police.
On the other hand, Ozu used all kinds of techniques
to recover books from the evil overduers and was promoted for it.
Furthermore, he spun an unfathomable web of human connections,
and rose even in his first year to become the right hand man to Aijima-senpai.
Damn it! Why does a human like you end up being promoted?
An unimpeachable character, conversational skills, clear thinking,
a cute appearance, and copious amounts of overflowing love for your fellow man.
Those are the secrets to being loved by others.
Shut up! I'll kill you, you bastard!
I don't want to live some meaningless life enjoying the unhappiness of others!
I want to be promoted!
You are so very awkward.
Why don't you have more fun?
After all, no matter how hard you work, I'll do my best to make sure you turn out no good.
We are tied together by a dark thread, you see.
"Philippine Trench"
It wasn't until far later that I came to understand
that Mr. Higuchi's impromptu escapes were aided by Ozu.
You're getting in the way, you bastard?
Sorry. He's my Master.
Please overlook it.
"Brand New"
You think that'll cut it?
June of my second year, finally realizing I had no talent at collecting books,
the "restaurant" transferred me to the Print Shop.
The Print Shop is an organization in control of many excellent students
which mass produces fraudulent reports.
Always at hand to save students facing a crisis,
my job was to deliver the finished reports to the customers.
In order to get promoted faster, I took on a large number of customers,
delivering reports using a truck.
Thanks, come again.
Thanks to that incident, over 200 students failed credits.
It was the worst disaster in the history of the Print Shop, and it lost the customers' faith.
Since I was an acquaintance of Ozu, he couldn't be so obvious about it,
but Aijima-senpai had been putting more and more distance between us.
He then spoke to me suddenly.
I have a side job. Help out.
Aijima-senpai's front
was the President of the library and supervisor of the Movie Circle Misogi.
He was the jester in Mr. Jougasaki's court.
Our mission was to collect information on a new recruit and allow him to approach her.
Hey, what do you do on the weekends, Akashi-san?
Why do I have to tell you something like that, Senpai?
Hurry and go search!
R-Right!
M-M-M-M-M-Mo...
They're called Mochiguman and they come in sets of five...
Oh? One's missing...
Now that you mention it, I think something flew off when you fell...
Don't, it's dangerous. It's okay.
But...
I don't know why, but it's always come back to me, even if I didn't search for it.
I, having broken Aijima-senpai's mood, was demoted to the Cheery Cycle Cleanup Corps.
The Cheery Cycle Cleanup Corps is a group that manages the illegal parking of bicycles,
and is a major source of funds for the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant.
You weak-kneed wimp! Get it together!
This organization does not suit my talents.
I'm thinking of revealing Aijima and all the crimes
the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant has committed through the years and escaping...
That's dangerous. You'll end up like this.
"Squish"
Not like you give a damn.
Even now I'm using brilliant maneuvers to cover for you, you know.
Try being a little grateful.
Grateful? Hell no!
Aijima-senpai is definitely trouble, yes...
Interested in this?
Not really... Though, where did you get it?
I searched it out using the information network of the Library Police.
Since Akashi-san said she lost it.
I followed the clues, but it was quite the struggle.
Almost like it was wandering around trying to be picked up by someone.
Oh, pardon me.
I'm so very busy playing the game of love!
Hello? Yes...
W-Wait, I can't just... So suddenly...
This is the dutch wife we're targeting.
Jougasaki has named it Kaori, and we're going to take it from him!
In order to earn the respect of Akashi-san,
Aijima-senpai decided to play a prank on Mr. Jougasaki.
Many people know of the depressing things called "Dutch Wives" in this world. Even I knew.
But what is this elegant expression Kaori-san has?
This is not the face that speaks out to the corrupt morals of society.
The carefully combed hair, the exquisitely prepared dress....
They showed the depth of Mr. Jougasaki's love.
Can I, as a human being, allow the delicate and subtle world these two created to be destroyed?
No, it is the height of heresy...
Kidnapping Kaori-san and using her to threaten Mr. Jougasaki I will not allow!
I cannot let this happen! It is a very refined, pure love!
Sickening...
I can't understand loving some doll that's not alive.
He even put lipstick on her!
Enough!
Stepping on other people's pure love for the sake of your own desire is unacceptable!
You're letting your private desires influence your public missions!
I will not allow you to lay a finger on her!
Of course I did not say that.
I instead chose a strategic withdrawal.
I'm not going to be a part of something so stupid!
I had finally gone and done it.
I will surely be erased from society by Aijima's power...
You have nothing to worry about.
Things are going quite well.
Anyway, opportunity is always dangling in front of your eyes. Please grab onto it.
That'll be 9,000 yen.
That's almost 5 figures!
I ran and hid in a manga café on Kitashira River, shaking like a newborn fawn.
But no one came after me, and a week afterward Aijima-senpai lost his standing.
"New Hero -- Bra-man!" "Aijima Bra-man!"
"Stop the Filming!"
"Animal Abuse!"
"Lipstick Licker!"
"Watch out for the ladies' locker room!" "Spits in your tea!"
"Crazy Fetishist! Panty Sniffer!"
Oh, long time no see.
I've become the Manager of the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant.
This was your doing?
Now now, don't give me a bad reputation.
Aijima-senpai was running the organization for his personal use,
so I spoke with the executive board of the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant.
I was vaguely apprehensive.
What else could I be but a Renaissance man of fear?
So, will you help me?
Don't you think it's about time you take this lucky chance to enjoy life?
"Ozu Establishes his Government"
Master Sergeant!
And so I assumed the office of the Master Sergeant of the Cheery Cycle Cleanup Corps.
At first I was somewhat skeptical of this activity,
but I became more and more absorbed in it,
directing it with a passion to take back the two previous years that had gone wasted.
The organization acted exactly as I desired. It felt quite good, actually.
This might be that rose-colored campus life I wished for.
A cornucopia of raven-haired maidens to choose from!
Could this be my ideal?
It was no easy task getting here.
But I had finally obtained it.
"Go!"
"Get a move on!"
It was all too easy to grasp once I tried!
I had once been led astray by an adherence to pure love.
But I finally realized. Everything in this world revolved around money!
Master Sergeant, I have something excellent to tell you of.
It will be quite profitable.
Is there something like that?
There's something in the Birdman Club.
And that was the result, as you clearly saw.
I should have had everything I wanted. Did I make a mistake somewhere, somehow?
You! I have finished! I'm finished!
Finished with what?
This. This morning I finished my journey of more than two years.
I was so moved I wanted to tell you about it.
At this point? Why...
I'm sorry I took so long.
But it was some good times, indeed.
I am hungry. Would you like to go eat some ramen?
Speaking of which, when I left the university a few days ago I ran into an old friend.
They were not looking so comfortable at all, and hurried off somewhere.
If they're in the same year as you, Master, they're probably a doctoral student now.
No wonder they felt awkward.
Why would they be embarrassed?
It's not them who had to repeat classes.
And that is the very reason you are the Master, indeed.
I've thought about this for quite a while, but now my mind is made up.
It will soon be the day for me to go forth, out into the world.
I will circle the globe.
Sounds like fun.
I feel like something went awry with my life.
Your life has not yet begun.
You are spending overtime inside of your mother's belly.
It's not that bad.
I successfully obtained a life that people would be jealous of.
But something is missing.
Is this really it?
There's got to be some more meaningful life out there...
More rose-colored, more sparkling!
There might have been some
college life with not a single dark cloud that would have satisfied me!
What's the matter? Are you half asleep?
I got to where I am by believing in my own potential!
I'm not sure I'm saying it right...
But why does my heart feel so cold?
Maybe there's a choice I should have made that would have led to some other possibility?
Maybe the choices I made in my first year were wrong!
You cannot use the word "possibility" without limitations.
Can you become a bunny girl?
Can you become a pilot?
Can you become a famous singer, or a superhero who saves the world with his powers?
No, I can't.
Perhaps you could.
But if you keep focusing your gaze on that which is unrealistic, you never will.
The root of all your evil
is in always relying on one of your other possibilities to get your wish.
You must accept that you are the person here, now,
and that you cannot become anyone else other than that person.
There is no way that you can lead some worthwhile college life and feel satisfied.
I guarantee it, so have confidence!
There is no such thing as that rose-colored campus life.
Why? Because there is nothing rose-colored in this world.
Everything is all a bunch of colors mixed up, you see.
Oh, what perfect timing, meeting you here!
How about a drink?
Well, that's your fault.
Although you were pretty cool until you ran away from Aijima-senpai.
I was fooled by Ozu.
If I hadn't met him, I wouldn't have completely wasted these two years.
He's selfish and arrogant, lazy and perverse...
He eats people's unhappiness with three helpings of rice, and that's not all!
But his feelings are pure.
That's how Ozu-kun feels about his girlfriend.
G-Girlfriend?
What was her name again?
I could never believe that Ozu would have a girlfriend.
He said that he met her as a freshman in the tennis circle.
He went with her to see the Gozan festival,
but they were tossed around in the crowd of people and she ended up crying.
This year he plans to see all five mountains at once.
There isn't any place you can see all five at once from.
Not unless you're in the air...
Okay, that's enough!
Who the hell are you people?
Ozu used the members of the Lucky Cat Chinese Restaurant for his own personal uses.
He mixed up his private and public duties too!
He's snuck into the Honwaka Group's headquarters
and is planning on stealing the airship there.
"Illegal Distribution of Funds" "To Honwaka..."
It seems he hid his tracks, but I know he has a woman there.
"Steal Airship"
It's the daughter of the head of Honwaka Group.
He's planning on using that airship for a date.
"Honwaka's Daughter?"
"You've got to be kidding me!"
This was indeed a bolt out of the blue.
Perhaps I had misjudged Ozu all this time.
Ozu has a girlfriend?
Was his rise to the top all for such a pure reason?
His goal wasn't simply to spend his time meaninglessly?
He's taking off!
He plans to take off from here and pick up the girl in the facility on the next mountain over!
I won't let you!
You, especially, I won't let you get your way!
Shoot it down!
You are quite the persistent one!
I say the same to you!
Be more honest with yourself.
Transfer over!
Hey, not me!
Just a bit more...
"Ozu had a girlfriend!"
It's crashed! Surround the area!
Everything I had done had all been meaningless,
but I had thought that it was the same for Ozu.
However, Ozu had enjoyed his meaningless campus life to his heart's content,
he had a girlfriend, and was even a fool in love!
Was I the only one who wasted his life?
Immediately after I was born, I was the incarnation of innocence.
Loved as much as baby Hikaru Genji was by Kaguya.
With not a hint of a wicked thought,
it was said my smile would illuminate the countryside around my hometown with the light of love.
And what of me now?
Is this how you plan to settle your accounts, as you are?
Where is the one responsible?
If it will always turn out like this, then I should do nothing at all!
It would be best not to set foot outside of the 4.5 tatami room!